Monday, January 23, 2012

Aging Gracefully?

In the last eight weeks, my baby turned eight, my middle child became a teenager and my oldest (whom I still remember as a wee babe on my shoulder) turned 15 and is talking about getting his learner’s permit. What is happening!?? My babies are growing up.

I’m realizing I’m older yet I can’t seem to make my body, mind and spirit all fit together. I’m supposedly part of the older generation who doesn’t understand a thing about the younger one. I certainly can’t keep up with the band names or video game characters, but I do remember what it felt like to be a pimply-faced, insecure adolescent. However, along with that ability to instantly flash back decades and still feel poignant sentiments, I’m also a member of the “establishment” (yeah, that group the hippies rebelled against when I was a child in the ‘60’s and are now running themselves). I’m in that undefined collection of mid-lifers: the tired and highly responsible, mostly underpaid women who are intent on “getting stuff done”. Admittedly I have little energy left for having a creative and vibrant life. Working on that one.

These three boys are the result of about $35,000 + worth of fertility and high-risk pregnancy measures. And the grace of God. Thankfully those were the days of a beautiful corporate benefit package in which insurance covered most of those high costs. Small business entrepreneurship, while part of the definition of the American dream, doesn’t afford such luxuries. Glad I had my babies earlier. I’m honored to have been the incubator to bring my darlings into the world. I think it’s now time to spend that same money to upgrade this thermoregulator’s exterior.

I can identify at least five areas of my body I’d love to have tightened, stitched, nipped, tucked, injected or just plain vaporized. Am I willing to actually invest cold hard cash and face the risk of possibly looking like Joan Rivers or a Dragon*Con mask? Not yet. I’ve had a few minor touch-ups just shy of going under the full anesthesia though and haven’t regretted it.

A recent doctor’s appointment revealed my weight to be the highest yet in a nonpregnant state. Hhhmm. Staying fit and healthy and also being comfortable in one’s own skin – with the body God gave us – that’s a challenge. I don't usually put less-than-flattering photos of myself up but today I'm doing it. This is who I am. God made me in His image.

I will say though, if it came down to beauty vs. wisdom, I’d go for the latter.



Jennifer @ Studio JRU said...

Oh your boys are precious! "God made me in His image." That is the wonderful truth! I think you are beautiful... that is a great photo! :)

Anne said...

Thanks Jennifer. Guess we're all most critical of ourselves!

Melissa Ann said...

I love to see you exploring how to love the beauty God gave to you alone. Glad I stopped by through Ann Voskamp's blog!

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